Shattered Dreams
Escaping nights without you with shadows on the wall
My mind is running wild tryin hard not to fall
You told me that you love me but say I’m just a friend
my heart is broken up into pieces
Cos i know I’ll never free my soul
it’s trapped in between true love and being alone
When my eyes are closed the greatest story told
I woke and my dreams are shattered here on the floor
Ahhhh
Now what. Ab yeh bhi hona tha why he is so so so dash. we are sleeping in his moms room on matress cz his mom not feeling well. Oh GOD help me or just give me some way to undo this wed 
so so fucked up right now. people said sabar karo ahista ahista sab theek ho jata kitni der yeh sab rahay ga. akhir sari zindagi sath hi to guzzarna hai but jb meri married life k golden days hi spoilho gay to what i xpect in future.
Sunset
Things are dying very quickly between us. Its only been two months and we are so far from each other. I spent most of my time on laptop killing time by other means. I dont know if he feels the same or even if he feels anything. I am thinking about my backups now. Its so very sad Its killing me inside. But i rather sacrifice then to compromise. yet i dont blame him as i am sure he even didnt know whats going on in my mind. He just dont understand what i feel. m i a good actor or he is too dumb.!!!!!
solution: Take a scholarship or Take a baby. In first case i wud be away from him i will not take divorce a separation will do it. In second case compromise for the sake of baby as they say children can saves a breaking relationship.
IK TA’LUK KO BIKHARNAY SAY BACHANAY K LIAY
MERAY DIN RAAT GUZARTAY HAIN ADAKARI MAY
My life
My relationship with Jacob used to be so easy. Natural as breathing. But since
Edward had come back into my life, it was a constant strain. Because – in Jacob’s
eyes – by choosing Edward, I was choosing a fate that was worse than death, or at
least equivalent to it.
Use me like a thing
Is mohabat may bohat baar tooti hun bikhri hoon , mohabat nay bohat bohat dard dis aur bohat rulaya lakin kabhi yeh mohabat khatam nahi hui. mohabat ko me nay kabhi harnay nahi dia mernay nahi dia hamesha phir say khud ko samait ker phir say utni hi shidat say us say mohabat ki.
lakin is baar to kuch aisa hua hai keh wo Ria jo tumhain chahti thi wo mer gai hai. us ki mohabat haar gai hai. Us nay mujh say meri her khushi cheen li. mera apna wajood.meri ankhon k aansoo bhi ab to khusk ho gay hain .mujh say to ab roya bhi nahi jata.
Me nay hamesha us kp paana chaha. us ka hona chaha. apna sab kuch us ko day dia sirf us kopanay k lliay. itnay sacrifices itnay compromises ….
Mujhay nahi pata usay na panay ka dard zyada hota ya is haqeeqat ka keh wo mera ho k bhi mera nahi hai…keh jo lamhay ham nay sath guzaray wo sab jhoot thay… keh sath nibhanay k jo iraday thay wo sab ik dhoka thay……JHOOT SAB JHOOT
1 month baad hamari shadi hai aur meri zindagi ka her her lamha isi azeeat may guzar raha hai keh mera honay wala husband mera nahi hai. us ki zindagi may mera sirf itna share hai keh me us k ghar me rahoo gi us ki bivi ban k nahi us k maan ki bahoo ban k…. aur ham sari zindagi ajnabiyon ki tarah guzar dain gay.
just a qucik post
Just a quick post to say that the bad time is over. we are together again. More in love more compassionate. More understanding. Its just like falling in love again. All that fresh and new love feelings and promises and things. Its going great. and I LOVE HIM SOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH
uffffffff 7 days without him were hell and now it seems i am in heaven. I am so so happy. indeed We are very happy to have each other again.
Love you
Love you
Love you
P.S. He Called
I Miss him
Most of the day i try not to think bout him but every moment i miss him. My friend said go and talk with him. Why you are torturing your self. There is no ego in love so go and talk. just give it an other chance and all these sort of things. But i dont know what keeping me away from doing this. yah i miss him like hell but i am ok or m i cheating myself that i am ok.
P.S. i have promised some of my friends that i will talk to him this weekend . lets see, weekend is here.
Getting harder without him
I miss him so much. Not even for a moment i can stop thinking bout him. I let my mind so busy these 3 days that it will near to crash now. Have read 3 books and lots of movies just not to think bout him. Feeling so down that skipped my office today and spent all day in my blanket. But i decided not to contact him for 7 days. I started Iskakhra(seeking help of GOD in prayer) of 7 days. I am so tired of the uncertainty in our relation. Although i have done istakhra many times before and ended up more close to him , more willing to be in this relation. but whenever we have any fight of this extent(no contact) i always do istkhara. Allah is my best friend and he knew everything. Allah knows how intense ,sincere and true my feeling are and HE also know what is on sim’s side.
تم سے کوئی نہیں چھین سکتا اور جو چیز تمھارے مقدر میں نہیں ہے وہ تم ساری دنیا سے لڑ کر بھی نہیں حاصل کر سکتے . الله کی رضا میں راضی رہنے میں ہی عافیت اور سکون ہے . اسی طرح ہم جزا دیتے ہیں جو شکر ادا کرتا ہے : سوره القمر
P.S. There are some more issue bugging me in our relation except the recent fight. i will write someday.
Raat ka akhri peher
Raat ka akhri peher dheeray dheeray guzar raha hai. Bahir shahid barish hui hai or andar k badal phir say berasnay ko tyar bethay hain. Us ki yadon ko khud say alag kernay k liay khud say hi lar rehi hun or dard bherhta ja raha haai.
Ajab hai yeh mohabat bhi… kash usay bhi mujh say mohabat ho jay
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